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So, Target’s new CEO-in-waiting, Michael Fiddelke, sent out a memo. And let me tell you, it’s a masterpiece. Not a masterpiece of leadership or communication, mind you, but a masterclass in corporate gaslighting. The kind of email that makes you want to take a shower after reading it.
They’re cutting 1,800 corporate jobs—1,000 people getting the axe and 800 open roles vanishing into the ether. And the reason? Oh, it’s a classic. As Target to cut about 1,800 corporate jobs amid stagnant sales, reports say, Fiddelke says, “The complexity we’ve created over time has been holding us back.”
Let’s translate that from PR-speak into English. "Complexity" is corporate code for "people." "Holding us back" is code for "our sales are in the toilet and our stock has tanked 65% since 2021." He’s basically saying, "We hired too many of you, things got messy, and now you have to pay the price for our bad management." It’s like a hoarder blaming the stuff for the mess. It's just... perfect.
And the best part? The company insists this isn't about cutting costs. It’s about "streamlining operations" and enabling "progress and growth." Give me a break. That’s like saying you’re not breaking up with someone, you’re just “optimizing your romantic portfolio for future synergy.” It’s an insult to the intelligence of every single person who works there. Do they really think anyone buys this crap?
The Longest Weekend of Their Lives
Here’s where it goes from standard-issue corporate cruelty to something a little more sadistic. They drop this bombshell on a Thursday, and then tell everyone they won’t find out who’s getting fired until next Tuesday. They’ve even asked corporate staff to work from home next week, presumably to avoid the gut-wrenching spectacle of people packing their desks into sad little cardboard boxes.
So for three full days, an entire workforce gets to sit at home, stewing in anxiety, replaying every interaction with their boss, wondering if they’re on the chopping block. It’s psychological torture disguised as logistics. What kind of leadership thinks this is an acceptable way to treat people? This isn't just a bad decision. No, 'bad' doesn't cover it—this is a five-alarm dumpster fire of managerial malpractice.
This is Fiddelke’s big debut, his first major move before he even officially takes the CEO crown in 2026. He's been at Target for two decades, climbing the ladder from intern to CFO to COO. You’d think somewhere along the way he’d have learned something about basic human decency. But maybe that’s the price of admission to the C-suite. You trade your soul for a stock package.
And what’s his grand plan to fix the sinking ship? He outlines three pillars: "lead with merchandising authority," "elevate the guest experience," and "accelerate technology." I have no idea what the first one even means, and the other two are the most generic, buzzword-laden goals I’ve ever heard. It’s the kind of stuff you’d see on a motivational poster in a conference room that smells faintly of despair. It ain't a strategy; it's a word salad.
It's Never Just About the Numbers
The fact sheet will tell you sales are down 0.9%, comparable sales dropped 1.9%, and operating income is down nearly 20%. Offcourse, heads were going to roll. That’s how this game works. But the story here isn't the numbers. It’s the cold, calculated inhumanity of the process.
They're offering severance and benefits through January 3rd, which is the corporate equivalent of leaving a twenty-dollar bill on the nightstand after you’ve ruined someone’s life. It’s a transaction. It’s clean. It absolves them of the messy reality that they are upending families and careers right before the holidays.
I keep coming back to that weekend wait. I just can't get over it. It feels personal. It’s a power move, a way of reminding everyone who’s really in charge. While Fiddelke and the board spend their weekend patting themselves on the back for making a "necessary" decision, thousands of their employees will be staring at the ceiling, their futures hanging in the balance. Is this the "special place we hold in retail" Fiddelke was talking about? Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like any other soulless corporation chewing people up and spitting them out.
Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe this is just business as usual.
Growth Through Subtraction, Huh?
Let’s be real. This isn't about "complexity" or "enabling progress." This is a panic move from a new leader trying to signal to Wall Street that he's a tough guy who can make the "hard decisions." Firing 1,000 people is the oldest trick in the book for juicing a stock price. It's a blood sacrifice to the gods of the quarterly earnings report. Don’t let the sanitized memo fool you. This is what desperation looks like, dressed up in a red polo shirt and a bullseye logo. Welcome to the new Target. Same as the old one.
